I Guess I'll Do the Book, Lamott Won't Let me Off the Hook



On a recent “Tonight Show” episode, Steve Martin sang a brilliant, bathetic ballad during his mock pre-show breakdown: 

I used up all my stories, when I was in my 40s,

but now I’m 52 years old and I don’t want to do this show.

I got no more material, I don’t want to do this show[1].

I got plenty to promote but I got no anecdotes.

I guess I’ll do the show.


Lamott’s last chapters in Bird by Bird seem to have the same leitmotif.  With the exception of the memorial to her friends’ dying baby Brice, I think she ran out of anecdotes to illuminate those chapters—chapters she was probably contractually obligated to produce.  Come on!  Getting beat up by a gorilla and being in pain because he doesn’t call.  Small penis jokes.   This is not the luminous prose and sharp wit I came to expect from Lamott in the first part of the book. 

Here are the few points that I gleaned from these final chapters.  Writing can be a present to somebody you love and respect.  If you write, as Lamott suggests, as “carefully and soulfully” as you can, your results become a gift to the living and a legacy to the dead.   My story about my father’s long decline was not written for my father but for my mother, who loved and supported him through his protracted final illness.  The story was cathartic for me to write.  I dealt with issues that I had never fully resolved.  As Lamott says, we need to let the truth out of the closet:  “Your anger and damage and grief are the way to the truth.” As writers we can only get at our personal truth by developing our own voice, not emulating the New York Best Selling author of the month.

Publication for a writer is like winning an Olympic gold medal for an athlete.  It can be a lifetime goal but, according to Lamott, not one that many writers are going to achieve via best selling books or articles published in national magazines.  The majority of writers should continue to write but learn to find “solace and direction and wisdom and truth and pride” in the act of writing itself.  I find Lamott fatalistic and limiting in her advice in this area.   Writer’s Market lists major publishers, well known literary agencies, and national magazines.  But you also find listings for specialty interests from dogs, to rock climbing, to auto restoration and for trade journals specializing in business travel, Canadian mining, and pool products.  If you use your imagination, you can find outlets here for creative non-fiction and even fiction.  Non-profits and local publications are always looking for material they can publish in exchange for author visibility and publicity.  I started off writing cute pony stories for the newsletters of the horse clubs to which I belonged.  I moved up to writing for the United States Icelandic Horse Congress Quarterly.  I recently sold two article to Equus magazine.  My article on “Detecting Icelandic Horse Origins” was published online by the Norlandshest organization in Norway and then cited as an original source in the Wikipedia article on the Icelandic horse.  If you publish quality pieces, you can build a large audience by blogging.  Julie Powell ended up with a best seller and a movie deal through her blog “The Julie/Julia Project” about cooking with Julia Child’s recipes.  Find an area for which you have a passion.  Write “truthfully” about it.  You will find an audience. 

If I consider the entire Bird by Bird, I find multiple passages inspirational.  Lamott’s injunction to begin a writing project by treating it as a bird by bird exercise (or filling a one-inch picture frame) is a brilliant way to enable us beginning writers to get started.  Telling us about “shitty first drafts” takes some of the dread out of putting those first words down on a page knowing they will probably be crap.  Comparing character development to a Polaroid that gradually reveals itself over time encourages us to listen to our characters and let the plot grow out of the characters.  Lamott challenges us to return to a child-like state when we closely observed people and events and felt deeply.  We can find joy in writing.

When Lamott turned 61, she made a list of every single thing she knows.  As she advises in Item 6, “You are going to feel like hell if you never write the stuff that is tugging on the sleeves in your heart — your stories, visions, memories, songs: your truth, your version of things, in your voice. That is really all you have to offer us, and it’s why you were born.”  So I am taking Lamott’s advice.  I hear Steve Martin singing: “You’re 62 years old. You got some pony anecdotes.  I guess you’ll do the book.  Lamott won’t let you off the hook.”






[1] A leapling is a person born on February 29th.  As a leapling joke, Steve Martin swears “I only agreed to come on this show on February 29th because I thought that date did not exist.  Damn you Leap Year.”

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